judgy judy

There is, I think, a common misconception that people who are overweight are lazy or at least just too unmotivated to actually do something about their weight problem.  This is probably true sometimes but I think it's inaccurate a lot of the time.

I think we often tend to be highly critical, levying harsh judgements on others when we don't really have all of the facts straight.

That homeless guy begging on the street corner might just be choosing a long lonely day of idly hoping for charity.  But he might also have a serious untreated mental illness or a horrifying and brutally sad past.

The young mother letting her kids run wild in the grocery store could possibly be inattentive and careless.  But she might also have a very sick child at home on her mind or an unemployed husband.  Or she might just be tired.  Motherhood makes you very, very tired.

The jerk who cuts you off just to make it through that yellow light before it turns red (a scenario I refer to an "orange" light) is probably just a jerk who thinks he is above conventional traffic manners.  But he could also be a terrified husband frantically rushing his pregnant wife to the hospital before his offspring enters the world en route.  Or maybe he just forgot to check his blind spot and didn't see you there.  I've done that before.

The point is you never know why people are who they are or why they make the decisions they do.  You don't know why a fat person is fat.  I would go so far as to bet that most people who struggle with a weight problem aren't just lazy.  They are using food to medicate.

In my case, I have anxieties.  I worry all the time.  Sometimes I write essays about my anxiety just so that I can release some of the emotional pressure it causes.  Maybe someday I will post them but for now, I have subjected myself to enough terrifying exposure.

I have always worried.  When I was a child, I called them "Bad Memories" because the word "anxiety" wasn't yet in my vocabulary.  I worry about everything from the absurd (rabies) to the more realistic (unemployment, car accidents, SIDS).  If you can name it, I have probably worried about it.

Interestingly enough, binging on carbohydrates (processed and refined ones in particular - you know, donuts and the like) causes an increase in serotonin and dopamine which lead to a sense of well being and happiness.

(Don't believe me?  Ask Dr. Oz)

Well, what do you know?  I've been using food to self medicate.  I eat junk food and my brain says to eat more because it could really use a break from all the incessant worrying.  I am addicted to carbs which is why I'm doing a carbohydrate detox (but more on that later).

The point is, you really can't tell just by looking at a person why they are overweight.  Food is a drug for a lot of people and unfortunately it's not one that can just be abandoned completely.  I think we would all cut the fat people some slack and offer more support if we better understood some of the more complex issues involved.

And then there are times like this past weekend when I posted my weight and received an outpouring of nice words and respect and just kindness in general and I think to myself, "Maybe I'm the one judging all the thin people out there."

Is it me?  It's probably me.  Or a combination of the two maybe...

I think I just taught myself a lesson.

It just goes to show that prejudice and judgmental attitudes go both ways.  The reality is that everyone is really just doing their best: their best to lose weight, their best to be kind, their best to be a good parent, or maybe just their best to solve the crossword puzzle they've been working on.

So this week, I'm focusing on dropping all my preconceived notions about the people around me.  I'm going to see the light in them, the good that God put there and I'm going to stop assuming everyone is out to judge me.

But not before I enjoy the only cookies I am allowed to eat on my carbohydrate detox, compliments of chef Kate.